I know I shouldn't allow myself to get wound up by Eurovision, but this year it really is the limit.
If you aren't aware, Andrew Lloyd Webber's took it upon himself to write the UK's entry for the 2009 contest in Moscow. Lloyd Webber, quite rightly, thinks that the UK's involvement has been seriously undermined over the years by people like Terry Wogan and the block voting of Eastern European countries. The problem is that the song he's written is, in a word, pants. As you can see, if you watch that video, it's one of those oh-my-God-I-don't-believe-I've-won-this X Factor winner's efforts, complete with histrionic vocals. It'd probably sit well in a musical, but this is about pop records, and ALW doesn't write pop records. It's the sort of song that's so easily forgotten when mixed in with a Croation band of accordianists and jugglers and intense Gallic chanteuses (is that a word?) on the big night.
In an earlier show we witnessed ALW trolling around Eastern Europe begging people, including, get this, Vladimir Putin to vote for the UK. I'm sorry, but you can't moan about block voting and then expect people to block vote for you. Apparently ALW's popular in Eastern Europe, which is apparently why he thinks people will vote for a song he's penned. Wrongitty wrong. On that reasoning, Iron Maiden are massive in Eastern and Northern Europe, so they should be a shoo-in, surely. Besides, they've got the stagecraft down to a fine art already, Bruce Dickinson loves running around a stage waving a Union Jack (including, rather insensitively, at Dublin's Croke Park stadium) So, next year, can we have Iron Maiden represent us please? Remember Lordi?
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