Random stuff

One of my favourite sayings at the minute is 'don't let light in on the magic'. I wish I'd remembered that before I asked for Frank Skinner's latest book for Christmas. I've read it and realised that I don't particularly like him anymore. The book is a journal of his thoughts over a period of about three months. In essence it's a blog in book form. He might as well have called it I *heart* Catholicism, He bangs on about it an awful lot, but neatly tends to sidestep any issues like The Vatican's attitude to homosexuality or the Pope not sanctioning the use of condoms in Africa to help combat HIV.
Skinner also appears not to be a very nice person, which is a huge disappointment to me. I know he's not the most ground-breaking of comedians, but I've always thought he was 'one of us' ie someone who'd had a proper job before finding comedic success. In the book you find out that he's not very tolerant of people and takes to despising his tour manager, a man just trying to make the best of them being in close proximity with each other for weeks on end. Oh, and his girlfriend would do my swede in too.
Anyroad, if you like Skinner don't buy it, and if you don't like Skinner it'll only reinforce your opinion.

Why is this news? Much as the the papers like to keep telling us about so-called 'Broken Britain', the vast majority of people are hard-working, kind, good-natured and helpful. I don't know about where you live but it's not very often I leave my front door without sharing a small joke or swapping a 'mornin'/af'noon/ay-up' with at least one complete stranger or passing acquaintance. Just yesterday I had a laugh with a woman in WH Smith who came to me to ask if I could reach a copy of US Vogue for her. If you believe the papers you'd be forgiven for thinking that she'd be too frightened to approach me for fear of being stabbed-up while I urinated on her and filmed the whole thing on my mobile phone.
Besides, how often do you drive around the country and see honesty boxes at the end of farm tracks or outside someone's gate selling eggs, windblown apples, bags of horseshit etc?

I'm going to see The Mighty Boosh Live tomorrow night. I'm not sure about comedy in arenas. Truth be told I only got the tickets because they were on special offer. I think they're having trouble shifting them because the Nottingham Trent Hef Hem Arena phoned me over Christmas to tell me I was being moved closer to the stage, and I got an email yesterday to say they were offering 50 pairs of tickets in a free competition. I suppose they'd already played three sold-out shows there two months ago, no one wants to go again. No doubt I'll be the only one there in jeans and a big coat.

I really don't like cricket, but I find this whole Kevin Pietersen thing fascinating. Not least because it makes cricket look stupid and all those superior duffers at the MCC who look down their noses at football are in agony. Tee and indeed hee. My favourite quote comes from one of the BBC's cricket men, Jonathan Agnew: "Pietersen's the sort of man who'd join the navy so the world could see him." Brilliant, I'll have to remember that.

Walking around Sainsbury's this morning, Marillion's Garden Party wouldn't leave my head. Dunno why. I can never remember in which order the 'I'm beagling, I'm punting, I'm wining reclining' bit comes. I've had a soft spot for it ever since Wham, who were guest reviewers of the singles, mercilessly slagged it off in Smash Hits in 1983. Your enemy's enemy is your best friend, and I've got a long memory. You can have a look at the video if you like while I desperately try and get myself off the prog tip I'm on at the minute, mind you, watching this video isn't going to help. One for the teenagers. Not.

Number Six

I've been tagged by Mr Avenues and Alleyways to do this writing six random things about yourself thingy. I'm not tagging anyone else because I don't know six other bloggers well enough, and I can't be arsed. Anyway, here goes:

1. I once saw Motorhead's Philthy Animal Taylor walking around the town in Newark of a weekday lunchtime. I knew it was definitely him because he's fairly unmistakable, right? It was during his second stint in the band in the very early 90s. As I was too shy to approach him, it was like a scene out of a cartoon, he'd stop to look in a shop window, so I'd stop twenty yards behind him to look in another shop. I often wondered what he was doing in Newark of a weekday lunchtime. I later found out that he's from Chesterfield, and while that's not exactly round the corner, it's close enough for him to feasibly have family in the town.


2. I didn't realise how bad my baldness was getting until I saw a reflection of the back of my head in some restaurant toilets last weekend.


3. I've never seen any Star Wars, Godfather, Sylvester Stallone or Lord of the Rings film. Nor do I have the desire to.


4. I once went on a protest over the visit of General Jaruzelski of Poland to Newark, when he was still the Communist leader of the country. Well, when I say protest, I mean I went and stood with some protesters outside Newark cemetery gates - which was across the road from my house - in the hope of getting on the Six O'Clock News. I didn't get on the news but the report did, I was stood behind the camera during the melee as his motorcade passed us on the way to the Polish war graves (and, more importantly, the grave of General Sikorsky, leader of the free Poles during WWII) in the cemetery. I read in the paper the other week that he's currently under trial in Poland for imposing martial law in 1981. Our house got on telly though.


5. I've been a best man twice. I haven't spoken to the first guy I was best man for in about five years. I haven't spoken to the second guy I was best man for in the last twelve months. I know this because it was his birthday recently and the last time I spoke to him was on his birthday last year. Kind of sad really...


6. The first CD I ever played on my first ever CD player was the Pet Shop Boys' Introspective on my 18th birthday. The second was Marillion's The Thieving Magpie. See, I've always had a weird taste in music. I think I played the PSBs first because Left to My Own Devices probably demonstrated the superior sound quality of the source material better (it had strings on it). Or something equally as wanky.