I hate my local newspaper, but sometimes they put a story in there that makes me spit crisps all down my front.
Take this week, there was a story under the heading 'Outraged by alfresco sex'. The gist of it was that a married couple, walking through the park near the castle, at 9.50pm on a Saturday night were 'horrified' at the sight of a couple having a bonk. Apparently the married couple thought there were two people fighting, so decided to go for a closer look. The couple who were at it then finished, had a break on a bench (no doubt with a shared gasper and some 'how was it for you?' banter) and then had sex again, all under the watchful gaze of our concerned Newarkers. Apparently one of the accused had drunk seven pints, but 'wasn't drunk'. I'm surprised after that much ale he was still fit for purpose.
This is the killer bit for me, from Miss Sarah Neale, one of the couple's defending solicitors:
'Miss Neale questioned whether the couple who saw them were truly outraged "the couple who saw them were so outraged that they stayed watching and following them for half an hour" she said'. Clearly a solicitor with a sense of humour.
The case was adjourned until October 13th.
Take this week, there was a story under the heading 'Outraged by alfresco sex'. The gist of it was that a married couple, walking through the park near the castle, at 9.50pm on a Saturday night were 'horrified' at the sight of a couple having a bonk. Apparently the married couple thought there were two people fighting, so decided to go for a closer look. The couple who were at it then finished, had a break on a bench (no doubt with a shared gasper and some 'how was it for you?' banter) and then had sex again, all under the watchful gaze of our concerned Newarkers. Apparently one of the accused had drunk seven pints, but 'wasn't drunk'. I'm surprised after that much ale he was still fit for purpose.
This is the killer bit for me, from Miss Sarah Neale, one of the couple's defending solicitors:
'Miss Neale questioned whether the couple who saw them were truly outraged "the couple who saw them were so outraged that they stayed watching and following them for half an hour" she said'. Clearly a solicitor with a sense of humour.
The case was adjourned until October 13th.
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