Hey, remember that film Escape to Victory? Yeah, terrible, isn't it? Well they're only going to remake it. The ringleader? One Mr Vinnie Jones. Oh dear. Why remake something that bad? The original starred footballing greats like Pele, Bobby Moore and, er, John Wark. Who does Mr Jones want to put in the Bobby Moore role? Yes, that's right, David Beckham aka The World's Most Overrated Footballer. Three cheers for Becks! Not.
He'd love that, Beckham, wouldn't he? He can really mix it up with his mates in La-La Land if he's made a fil-m. Perhaps his big buddy Tom Cruise could give him some acting tips. Or then again, maybe not.
Another irritation this week:
He'd love that, Beckham, wouldn't he? He can really mix it up with his mates in La-La Land if he's made a fil-m. Perhaps his big buddy Tom Cruise could give him some acting tips. Or then again, maybe not.
Another irritation this week:
- The new Jacob's Creek ad. The very idea of dinner parties fills me with dread at the best of time, but this ad is set at a dinner party with a bunch of wise-cracking Australians. In my head I shoot the fucking lot with an AK47.
- Those pricks who sat behind me at Forest last night. For their information that 'little Scottish twat' is the same 'little Scottish twat' who got our team to third in the table. Oh, and to the woman who shouted out "I'm missing Holby City for this!", why didn't you stay at home then? Although someone's retort of "Who are they playing?!" was inspired. Sometimes the things people shout out are hilarious (there's nothing more life-affirming than hearing a nine year-old boy, in full view of his parents ,shout "The ref-er-ree's a wanker!"), not that crew, they were just full of bullshit from the first whistle. Even when we were coasting to a win. What makes it worse is that they were clearly season ticket holders. Groo!
Non-irritations this week:
- Alison Steadman and David Troughton in Alan Bennett's Enjoy at the Theatre Royal in Nottingham. Good to see quality actors actually at work. And who'd have thought Bennett would have put blow job gags in one of his plays? Steadman looked absolutely knackered during the curtain calls though.
- Alice in Wonderland. I got caught up in the whole 3D gimmick with this. The 3D doesn't actually make that much difference apart from a few spears being thrust towards the screen, but thoroughly enjoyable nevertheless. I reckon it's only the second Tim Burton film I've seen too.
- Drums. My man got me to do some hard stuff this week. I need to practise, so it's good I've bought my own drum kit, int'it?
- Forest manager Billy Davies's match programme notes; I'd love to hear them read aloud by a five year-old.
5 comments:
Alan Bennett has got quite rude in his old age; The Habit Of Art is full of SEX.
(Word verification: actoring)
I was at a Hibs game years ago, sat behind the goal, and at one point after they had messed a move up, one guy stood up and shouted "McCluskey you couldnae read the fucking Beano!" He then realised he was the only person standing up, looked a bit self-conscious and then sat back down.
Ed Wood by Tim Burton is one of my favourite films. I think Sleepy Hollow and Beetlejuice are good fun too. Winona Ryder did Beetlejuice and then Heathers. And then she started getting gradually duller and duller with each film.
Yes, Bennett has become sex-obsessed since he came out publicly. At one time he couldn't even say the word 'bird' where it related to a woman.
Until my son went to Uni a couple of years ago we'd had season tix for 10 years or more at The Lane to witness Notts at close quarters. Towards the end, as the stuff happening on the park bore les and less resemblance to 'the beautiful game' it was only the heckling that livened up the afternoon.
Clair and FC - It was originally staged in 1980 so perhaps he's always had a saucy undercurrent. At one point two of the supporting actors nearly have sex.
Thumper - I haven't deliberately not watched more Burton films, I've just never got round to them. The other one was Batman, by the way.
John - Don't get me wrong, I love football heckling. It's just that sometimes people are never happy, are they? This time last year we were fighting for survival in that league.
My sister, who for reasons best known to herself supports Arsenal, went to see them play a friendly at Meadow Lane and was amazed that the County players only footballing skill appeared to be booting the ball as hard and as far as they could whenever they gained possession.
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