Go away you small boys!

There's a lovely piece by Stuart Maconie in the latest edition of Word magazine about Gregory's Girl. I couldn't agree with what he says more. I, like Maconie, also use lines from the film to punctuate real life situations. Just the other day I was speaking to someone at work on the phone and trying to explain how to set a particular piece of equipment. I found myself saying "Then the red light should flash every four elephants". I then had to explain to my hapless colleague what an 'elephant' is. And if you haven't seen the film, and think I meant a pachyderm, think again. Go and watch the film, you won't be disappointed.

If you're a fan of the film, then you can count on me as friend for life. The only person from work who I see on any sort of social level is also a huge GG fan. Just the other week I went up to him in the canteen, nudged him and said "Don't touch the ravioli, it's garbage." In fact, this guy is such a fan of it, he even visited Cumbernauld, where it was filmed, as a sort of pilgrimage. I was insanely jealous, until he told me it was shithole and he couldn't even find the Clock Plaza.

And what man over the age of 35 isn't excited by a film featuring Clare Grogan in a beret. Just go over there and have a little think about that. Clare Grogan. In a beret.

Of course it's biggest strength is that it shows teenagers in a positive light. Not trouble-making, glue-sniffing tearaways. Just good kids who are crippled by every teenager's sense of awkwardness. And if you'd seen me at a school disco, you'll get my drift.

In fact events at our school in the late 70s formed part of the inspiration for the film. A girl had been picked for the football team which caused a minor national outcry. It made it on to John Craven's Newsround and everything.

And, our hero, has Rush posters on his bedroom wall. John Gordon Sinclair is a big Rush fan. In fact it was a Rush patch on someone's bag that encouraged him to carry on attending a Glasgow youth theatre group, he knew there were good people there.

You can't beat these for classic lines:

"Lot of fuss over a bit o' tit, eh?"

"We'll start the driving lessons when you've mastered the walking bit"

"Tits! Bum! Fanny! The lot!"

"Let's go and sweet-talk those two lovelies" - something myself and GG-fan-colleague usually jokingly say on a night out.

"Whoah, whoah, easy on the sugar, lady!"

"Here's 50p, you can buy loadsa chips wi' that"

"Pickled onions and dates don't mix, you might have to do some *mwah* kissing later on"

"That is a brassiere!"

If you're still unconvinced, it's on BBC1 on Sunday night.