Sorry

I don't like repeating myself, but last night I remembered a few more things that get on my wick. Sorry. I promise I will blog about something I like, or at least stop moaning, eventually. And what a surprising amount of love for The Vorderman. Ah well, here goes:

• Press *red* - You've seen it, it appears at the top right of a TV screen while you're watching something else. It tells you to press red to see a load of stuff other than the thing you were watching in the first place. Example: I was watching Have I Got News For You last night, and it popped up about five minutes from the end. What did it say? "Press *red* for Paul Weller and Adele". No thanks. It also tells you to press it during the news, which then takes you into a complicated news menu. Now, when somebody's been awfully kind enough to read the news out to me along with filmed and live reports, why would I want to read it on a text version as well? It's not been thought out properly either, as it often obscures captions that say "Library Pictures" or "October 2005". What they should do is give us something worth watching via the red button. Like, say, a Red Arrows display, a kitten playing with a ball of wool or a looped video of Vernon Kay being punched repeatedly in the face while being made to say 'sorry'.


• High-fiving - Since when did giving a high five become an acceptable way for British people to congratulate each other? I've never high-fived anyone in my life, I'm proud to say. It's completely un-British I tell you. If, like me, you played as first reserve in your dad's skittles team in your callow youth, when you played a good shot people would nod and say 'shot', 'played' or, at it's most extreme, shake your hand. These days the bastards would be high-fiving all over the shop.


• Thieving bastards - I work alone, in a large warehouse. As I work alone I can choose what music I listen to, either radio or CD. I don't normally take original CDs in but ones copied on my home PC (which is perfectly legal if you own an original copy). I do have a couple of original CDs at work - both compilations - and some bastard's nicked one. I've got a pretty good idea who it is too; the other night, after I left, some agency staff came over to do some work. They've taken something called Dark Side of the 80s. Now I can only imagine that their pea-sized brains just saw the word '80s' and they thought it was some sort of awful thing containing Spandau Ballet and Culture Club. Well, I hope they felt foolish when they got home and started listening to a load of tracks by artists such as The Fields of the Nephilim, The Mission, The Sister of Mercy, New Model Army, Bauhaus and, er, Lloyd Cole and the Commotions. I notice that they left The Best Prog Rock Album in the World...Ever! Tasteless bastards...


• This song - It's like Pinky and Perky singing Mambo No.5