Friday 12 December 2008

Don't Cry For Me: One Boy's Dream of Not Getting a Daily Thrashing


I'm looking for something new to read. If I don't finish Andrew Marr's History of Modern Britain by Christmas then I'm going to shoot myself. While perusing Amazon, I came across the list for the best-selling 'tragic true life stories'. I know I'm not the first person to comment on this, but who buys these things in such huge numbers? And look at the titles - some probably have more words than the actual book itself contains. Here's my favourite: Cry Silent Tears: The Heartbreaking Survival Story of a Small Mute Boy Who Overcame Unbearable Suffering and Found His Voice Again. Jesus, you'd need to take a deep breath when ordering that at WH Smith. And I just bet someone has that on their Christmas list.

So I've come up with a title for my own, entirely fictional, tragic childhood story: Little Dickie: The Boy Who Was Locked in a Wardrobe For the First Ten Years of His Life Before Being Encouraged to Run Along the Central Reservation of the A1(M) With Scissors In Just His Nylon Y-Fronts.
Anyway, I've been thinking of getting this, but apparently it's very thick and I'll get arm ache reading such a big book in bed.
I know I'm a bit late here, but the fellow who made this contributed to my relatively happy childhood, unlike the mute boy who found his voice. A great storyteller, and who doesn't love a great storyteller?

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