Those who have stuck with me over my numerous blogs may remember that about six months ago I wrote about how I'd bought some Simple Minds anniversary tour tickets, and my complete and utter contempt for the support act, Deacon Blue.
Well, they (Deacon Blue) didn't disappoint. What a screaming pile of shit that band always were and still are. Somebody ought to tell the singer that telling a long-winded and completely unfunny joke about Alex Salmond, Scottish Arts Council grants and translating songs into Gaelic won't particularly play well to a partisan SM crowd in South Yorkshire. I'm surprised he didn't tap the microphone at the sound of no people laughing and ask 'Is this thing on?' Just to reiterate, I hate Deacon Blue. But what I hate even more is that with the opening bar of Wages fucking Day, the whole crowd (bar me) were on their feet clapping along. I stayed seated and deleted a load of text messages off my mobile phone, moving onto playing the phone's golf game in time for bastard Dignity.
Anyway, Simple Minds were excellent. I know they're the sort of band you either love or hate, and Jim Kerr can be a little bit of a self-important cock at times, but they're a bloody good live band. After thirty years Kerr knows how to work a crowd and you get the sense he genuinely feeds off it.
Well, they (Deacon Blue) didn't disappoint. What a screaming pile of shit that band always were and still are. Somebody ought to tell the singer that telling a long-winded and completely unfunny joke about Alex Salmond, Scottish Arts Council grants and translating songs into Gaelic won't particularly play well to a partisan SM crowd in South Yorkshire. I'm surprised he didn't tap the microphone at the sound of no people laughing and ask 'Is this thing on?' Just to reiterate, I hate Deacon Blue. But what I hate even more is that with the opening bar of Wages fucking Day, the whole crowd (bar me) were on their feet clapping along. I stayed seated and deleted a load of text messages off my mobile phone, moving onto playing the phone's golf game in time for bastard Dignity.
Anyway, Simple Minds were excellent. I know they're the sort of band you either love or hate, and Jim Kerr can be a little bit of a self-important cock at times, but they're a bloody good live band. After thirty years Kerr knows how to work a crowd and you get the sense he genuinely feeds off it.
One person who doesn't know how to work a crowd is that lass with the saxophone off of The Zutons. I don't know whether she was badly, got the decorator's in, had a row with her drummer boyfriend or snorted something that was 95% talcum powder or what, but she had a face like a slapped arse all night. I've never seen anyone on any stage anywhere look as disinterested as her. The only time she acknowledged the crowd all night was at the end when she said (insert thick, high-pitched Liverpool accent here) 'Cheers, you've been a boss crowd'. How did she know? She'd been looking at the floor all night. Other than that, they're not a bad live band. I wouldn't go and snap up their albums but they put on a good show, apart from old mardy arse.
Oh, and I've moaned on here in the past about mobile phones and talking at gigs, can we also stop lager-throwing? I got covered in lager about three times on Friday night. And the bloke in front of me decided to do it as well. He thought he was fucking hilarious. Him and his mates were discussing earlier about how best to tackle a group of four achingly beautiful young women in front of them (yes, lads, ladies breasts do bounce up and down when they dance, don't they? Have you only just noticed, you childish twats?). In my experience with women, spilling drinks over them - intentionally or otherwise - doesn't do much to ingratiate yourself with them.
Staying on a kind of Eighties theme, I notice that Ultravox have reformed. Why? Don't do it, Midge. You can be crap on your own without the other three.
One of my fondest memories is laughing in my sister's face as she wept when Joe Dolce kept Vienna off the no.1 spot (what a sweet child I was). If Spandau Ballet's True is the worst no.1 of all time, then Vienna is the worst no.2.
After singing heartily last night, and as a result of me being a 'bit chesty' in the first place, my voice is fucked. I currently sound like Lemmy and Su Pollard's love child. It's like my voice breaking all over again, and I hate losing the ability to shout. I shout a lot at work. Bah!
Back to Ver Simps, they played an 'interesting' version of this early classic last night, with drummer Mel Gaynor handling lead vocal duties.
7 comments:
I'm rather partial to the first Deacon Blue album Raintown. After that - quote you - it's all Deacon Bollocks.
I'm also rather partial to New Gold Dreams. After that, just bollocks. Mind you, I haven't anything new from them in over 10 years. Maybe there's many treats to be found that have been released by Simple Minds since then.
I doubt it.
I've always detested Deacon Blue/Hothouse Flowers and all that shouty-bollocks-pop from back then, and that girl in the Deacons always looked a bit manic and on the edge of a nervous breakdown to me.
I'm sure you've got this already but just in case here's a link to I Travel remix
I like their music. They've never been what you'd call cutting edge, but some nice tunes, esp. Twist and Shout.
It's the singer I can't stand though. Ricky Ross. He's a bell-end.
Love Simple Minds though. I saw them at the Milton Keynes Bowl in '86, supported by The Cult, The Waterboys, The Bangles and In Tua Nua.
I've always been of the opinion that Deacon Blue fans hate themselves for liking Deacon Blue.
My view is a bit wishy washy - I think Fergus Sings The Blues is great, for example, but Dignity is not. I've never bought an album by them.
I've never been mad on Simple Minds either - I always felt Jim Kerr's voice wasn't that good. All The Things She Said is superb though.
I know how you feel. I fucking hate Stevie Nicks because she ruined Fleetwood Mac. Ruined it, I say. Every time radio stations play her crap I want to break the stereo.
Did you know, Daphne, that at the height of their success, the Rumours line-up of Fleetwood Mac used to employ a roadie specifically tasked to blow cocaine up Nicks's bottom? I presume he/she was VERY handsomely paid.
I hate the Deacon Blue song that's always, always, always played. I don't know the name of it, but people smile and clap to it, like performing sea lions.
The one with the "oooh - eee - oooh - eee - oooh" chorus.
It's just simple and crude enough to appeal to a 2 year old child, or to a 60 year old in a pub who's pissed and doesn't know what they're singing along to - because they're pissed. But the 'ooh - eee - ooh' chorus is just simple enough to snap them out of their stupor for a tenth of a second.
For some reason I lump Prefab Sprout in with Deacon Blue. They are both painfully shit.
I feel better now.
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