Mobile phone shops and the idiots who work in them

I know nothing about mobile phones, right? What I do know is that I'd like a phone which has a big screen to look at the internet while 'I'm on the move.' What I also know is that I've gone on to a new mobile phone tariff which means I get unlimited internet browsing* and texts. So I want to change my phone. I've got the money burning a hole in my pocket, what I don't have is the knowledge.
First port of call is Newark's O2 shop. I tell the bloke what I've just told you and he hands me tons of stuff to take home and read, recommending the Nokia 5800. Take the stuff home, I digest it and go on holiday. Last Saturday I went back into the store and said to the assistant "I'm an existing O2 customer and would like that phone please" pointing at the Nokia 5800. After a lot of toing and froing he decides they don't have any in stock but he'll phone me on Tuesday to tell me he's got one from somewhere else. The phonecall doesn't happen.

I had to go to Nottingham yesterday so thought I'd pop along to the O2 shop there and see if they had one. The shop was busy but that didn't stop three members of the staff talking at the till about one of them having problems with is flatmate. I paced up and down, sighing, finally grabbing the man with the flatmate issues. I said to him "I'm an existing O2 customer and would like that phone please" pointing at the Nokia 5800. After a lot of toing and froing he decides that there are none in stock. "Have you tried the store near the Broadmarsh Centre?" he asked. I replied I hadn't but perhaps he'd like to phone that shop and ask if they've one in stock to save me the walk. To do this he needs to go back behind the counter. He shouts, shouts, across the shop "THEY HAVEN'T GOT ONE EITHER! HAVE YOU TRIED OUR ONLINE SHOP!" I told him the Nokia 58-fucking-00 isn't available from the O2 online store (although I didn't really say "58-fucking-00" because I'm polite). "OH, MAYBE THEY'VE DISCONTINUED IT THEN!" he bellowed back. Right 1) if they've discontinued it, why is it still on display in the shops and 2) the little fucker didn't bother offering me an alternative, he just wandered off. I left in a huff.

Walked into the Victoria shopping centre across the road and tried the Carphone Warehouse. Told the guy my requirements and he sold me on something that would have suited my needs perfectly. "Right, I'll take one" I said. Apparently if I wanted one he'd have to order it from Head Office. Jesus wept, all I want is a new mobile to take home. What's wrong with these people?

Phones 4 U next (God, I fucking hate their name). Didn't even get to speak to anyone in there because the shop was empty and the five members of staff were bust jerking each other off behind the counter. What looked like the manager was peering out of the shop front and down the concourse. As I passed him on my way out I said to him "You've just lost a sale, mate."

I fucking hate mobile phone shopping. Why is it so difficult? I know the staff are probably underpaid and bored, but I was always taught about customer service when I worked direct with the public. Sorry for boring you...

Why can't all mobile phone shops be like this:

*subject to fair usage

Friday on my mind

It seems to have been I *heart* Woolies Day on Radio2 today. What annoys me is that people aren't in love with Woolworth's at all, they're in love with a) nostalgia and b) getting things cheaper elsewhere. Woolworth's slit their own throat by trying to change too much. At one time they were the shop where you could buy, literally, everything, on any high street. Then they changed to a shop, which, at its core, sold CDs/DVDs/video games, toys, basic hardware and kids' clothes and moved to large superstores. All the time shops like Tesco, Wilkinson's and Argos were busy stealing their trade. Now they're paying the price.

I blogged about eighteen months ago about how we're all guilty for this state of affairs by picking up CDs with our weekly grocery shop and all sorts of cheap stuff via the internet. I hope they can be rescued, because if they aren't - besides thousands of people being put out of work, which is horrible - that'll mean one less record shop in my home town. Apart from supermarkets, the only place to buy music will be WH Smith, and even their music department seems to have shrunk a little more every time I go in there. I can remember, as little as ten years ago, there were three independent record shops, and three music departments inside larger stores here.



Anyway, I'm not here tomorrow, as I'm going to see The Zutons. I'm not really bothered about going but I'm humouring my gig-going chum as he's a fan, and he wasn't overly fussed about Elbow, but they won him over. So here's your Friday treat. A ZTT Records double-header this week. The first one's based on a Yes track, but don't let that put you off. The second was the theme tune to Top Gear Rally Report, but don't let that put you off either. And getting back to record shops, I bought both of these singles for about 20p from Boots after they'd dropped out of the Top 40. Boots was the place to go if you were a paper boy on a tight budget and could wait a few weeks for your singles.