Parsons nose

Who decided this man was funny? He represents everything I hate about comedy these days: the careerist attitude, the topical gags, the way his voice is trained to let you know when the payoff's coming, the sneering 'everything is shit' attitude (evidenced in the title of his DVD, 'Britain's Got Idiots'), his willingness to appear on any panel show going. That's why I don't listen to Radio 4 or watch Dave comedy. 

Telly selly time

Just a few bits about this week's telly:

A History of Horror with Mark Gattis is terrifically good. He's suitably creepy to be presenting such a programme. He's the sort of person I can imagine presenting a Tales of the Unexpected or Armchair Thriller type of show. He'd sit and introduce the film (something like Whistle and I'll Come to You) beside a crackling log fire. At the end he'd come back on and say "Sleep well". "Sleep well"? I'd have to watch an hour of QVC before popping off to bed. Perhaps he could persuade the Beeb to dramatise some of his League of Gentleman buddy Jeremy Dyson's creepy short stories, they'd be well suited to the half hour treatment.
The problem is that I now want to see all the films featured in the show. I know BBC4 can't show them all but wouldn't it have been better to show Blood on Satan's Claw or Dr Jekyll and Sister Hyde after this weeks incredibly entertaining edition on Hammer Horrors? The Quatermass Experiment's been on more times than I've had hot dinners, and I've had a few of those.

Mad Men. Just gets better and better. It's good to see the mask finally falling off Don Draper. Top marks. I'm seriously considering this to be taking over from Our Friends in the North as my favourite TV drama ever.

Reggie Perrin. I know there are a lot of people out there who don't like this, I'm not one of them. It's great. And how nice it is to see a studio-based sitcom with an audience that actually contains jokes and good comic actors delivering them. I've noticed there's more of s trend back to this just lately with Not Going Out, The IT Crowd and The Old Guys, all decent shows. Also if you like the original Reggie, the box set is available on Amazon for £12. That's a steal.

Reasons to be cheerful

Sorry I've not been posting for a while but I've not had much to post about, and a strange melancholia has engulfed me somewhat. I don't think Mum's death has hit me properly yet, and something big's about to go off at work, from which, fingers-crossed, I'll emerge from the other side unscathed. Hopefully.

Anyway, I don't do self pity on this blog (I do that on my other blog http://www.boohoomyhamstersjustcroaked.blogspot.com/) so I thought I'd let you know what I've been using to cheer myself:

• James May making giant Airfix kits.


• Danny Baker on the Word podcast talking about working in record shops owned by Elton John in the early 70s, King Crimson, the myth surrounding punk and its origins, working at the NME in the late 70s, Earth Wind and Fire.


• This record. I gather it's not everyone's cup o' meat but I like it.


• Mark Ellen guesting on Mark Radcliffe's show; two mates talking about nothing much but being funny and listener-inclusive.


• Seeing Adrian Edmondson and the Bad Shepherds. A good night out if you like to hear Kraftwerk's The Model played on mandolin, violin, double bass and uilleann pipes.


• Series six of Peep Show. Just keeps getting better.


• Listening to my eighteen year-old nephew order alcoholic drinks at a bar, ice creams and fish 'n' chips while on a weekend away with the bloody family. What a dork. But a funny dork.


• Armstrong and Miller.


• Reading about Sting and Trudie Styler's tantric sex-powered helicopter in the latest Viz.
• Reminding myself about when I went to a roller disco in 1982 after being served by a girl in Marks and Spencer's who was there. She fell and dropped Polo mints all over the floor for other roller discoites to grind into the wooden gymnasium floor with their wheels. That set me off, but what got me even more was the thought of me at a roller disco. Regular readers will know that I'm the world's most un-roller disco person. What was I thinking?

Ask me about the Mitfords

I've had a bit off a Mitford's weekend. First off, on Friday night, I went to see Andrew Collins and Richard Herring record one of their podcasts. I don't normally download their podcasts but thought I'd go along and support the Lincoln Comedy Festival and it was only a tenner to get in for over two hours of live entertainment. I enjoyed it, even Mr Collins's attempt at stand-up in the first part of the show. I tell you what bugs me though; people who get up to the bog in the middle of a set. It was even more noticeable on Friday night as they were recording it and someone's echoing footsteps must be clearly audible on the podcast. I haven't downloaded it, I heard it live, three rows from the front. It was a lovely venue for comedy though, the seats were actually quite comfy.

The Mitford connection is that Collins was sporting a t-shirt which read "Ask me about the Mitford sisters." Apparently he's an authority on the Nazi-loving, uppercrust siblings.

The second bit of my Mitford weekend came yesterday afternoon when I thought I'd pop along, as part of my ongoing quest to culturally enrich myself, to the annual Sotheby's sculpture selling exhibition at Chatsworth House. It'd slipped my mind but the youngest of the Mitford's, Deborah (or 'Debo' as she's known to her friends), is the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire, whose family seat is Chatsworth. Their are two large gift shops at Chatsworth, both groaning under the weight of books about the Mitfords. They don't hide their light under a bushel.

I love a stately home gift shop. They always think they're above selling gonks and pencil sharpeners with the name of the home on the side. For a start not only were there books about the Mitfords, but there were books by a Mitford. That's right, Debo has her own books of letters and essays published. I flicked through the latest one and not only did it have an introduction by Alan Bennett ("Aah yes, I've spent many happy hours stroking Debo's pussy by a roaring fire in the private apartments at Chatsworth" or some such nonsense) but there was also advice, I kid you not, on the correct way to wear a tiara. My stifled guffaws must have been noticeable to the staff.

Another book which diverted my attention was DeBrett's Guide for the Modern Gentleman, of course I could have written the bloody thing, but it was worth standing in the shop and flicking through for fifteen minutes, if only for the advice on how to handle a lady (I was heartened to find three of my favourite albums in their Top Ten Heavy Metal Albums).

I believe bits of the TV adaptation of Pride and Prejudice were filmed at Chatsworth, and, as you'd expect, there's tons of Pride and Prej stuff, including stacks of copies of the book. What I couldn't quite understand though is why, next to Pride and Prej, there were also stacks of copies of Stuart Maconie's Pies and Prejudice. Do you think one of their buyers got the wrong end of the stick?

Anyway, what I loved the most were the tables given over the The Duke's, The Duchess's and Lady Burlington's own choices of gift. They've got stuff on with a little note by whichever member of the family's picked it, like this for a kiddies' book "My grandchildren love me to read them this amusing book whenever they come to stay" or this for a book called Posh Crosswords "The hours on the train journey between London and Derbyshire just fly by with this handy book of puzzles". What had me scratching my head the most though was a huge stack of those clocks which sings a different birdsong on the hour, they're the sort of naff things you only normally see on those terrible Innovations catalogues. The 12th Duke's note? "This clock never fails to amuse me, on the hour, every hour." As Basil Fawlty once said "Only the true upper class would have tat like that."

General Lee

Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle, then. Did you see it? I did, it was superb. Mind you, I would say that because it spent a good ten minutes slagging off Chris Moyles, just for this one line: "Chris Moyles is unique in that he's the only man to have had more books published than he's actually read."
And I can't think of anyone else brave enough to go on TV and spend at least three minutes trying to repetitively describe rap 'singers' in the most uncrompehending way possible just to say at the end 'I don't think this book's really aimed at me'. Top drawer.
And Radio 4 topical panel shows got a kicking too. Good. Andy fucking Parsons take note. I heard The Now Show a couple of weeks ago. Jesus wept.

Put that next to Horne and Corden, the first episode of which I watched this morning. Oh dear. Not funny in the slightest. There was one mildly amusing bit that slagged off Ricky Gervais, which I perhaps would have found funnier if I'd actually seen the Karate Kid film on which the sketch was based. Most of the other jokes appeared to point out how fat Corden is. Ooh, my aching sides.
There was also a rather silly sketch involving a camp war reporter. It pandered to the stereotype that all gay men are obsessed with sex and are scared of bombs and stuff. Who isn't scared of bombs? I know I am. Where is BBC3 going? They cancel the excellent Pulling yet make tosh like this to pander to their 'priority artists' and still churn out Two Pints...

If you missed Lee, watch it here. And disregard that picture of Michael McIntyre at the bottom. By the way, any programme that uses Tom Hark as its theme tune has got to be worthy of your attention, yes?

Fringe benefits

I know there are media types who read this and this won't sound very exciting, but I've just returned from Edinburgh. I still get a rush from seeing telly type people just wandering around going about their business. In the space of three days I've seen, from what I remember, just chillin':
Michael Barrymore
Henry Normal
Paul Jackson
Kirsten O'Brien
Al Murray
The little turd from Son of Rambow
Isy Suttie (my new heart throb from Peep Show)
John Hegley
A bloke with dark hair I can't put a name to but I've seen him on telly and he was showing off his new Italian girlfriend
Richard Herring
Rhod Gilbert
Mike 'The Twat' McShane
David Threlfall

I was thinking of doing a 'funny' Fringe video report and putting it on here, but I couldn't be arsed. Maybe I'll get to put the frighteners on Lauren Laverne next year, eh?

Besides, Danny Baker's right; there are far too many comedians.