Monday 24 November 2008

I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't understand


There are certain things that, over the course of this last weekend I know I'll never understand.
The first thing is the appeal of the film, Mamma Mia. You know the one, based on the music of Abba? I was perusing the female members of my family's Christmas lists over the weekend, and every one of them (out of four) had the Mamma Mia DVD on there. Now, I'm not one to start slagging off Abba, they did some good pop songs, and they did some bad pop songs, but why would you want to see those songs in the setting of a film?
Now, the film is obviously very popular; I was told on Saturday that it's only just stopped being shown at my local multiplex, and even then that was because of the impending DVD release (handily in time for Christmas). The film was released in UK cinemas on July 10th. So it's been showing continually for a quarter of a year. Now I'm not one to discourage people from going to the pictures, but is there nothing else that these women (and I'm assured from those who've seen it that the audience is predominantly female) would like to see instead? I was rather looking forward to catching Shane Meadows's film Somers Town when it was released on August 22nd, but guess what? None of the cinemas round here were showing it. Which is a shame when you think that Meadows lives fifteen miles from where I sit now. I suppose the screens were blocked up with Meryl Streep doing the splits and Pierce Brosnan being out of tune.
Never mind, I'm sure that Bjorn and Benny are currently sitting on their own private island somewhere lighting handmade Cuban cigars with high denomination banknotes, while a convoy of trucks pull up outside their homes in Sweden and deposit huge wodges of cash down a chute into their cellars. And good for them.

The next thing I know I'll never understand is the appeal of the mobile phone. I know they're incredibly handy things to have, and now I can have a camera with me wherever I go. The thing is, I was in a phone shop on Saturday buying a phone for my mother. She needs a simpler one to the one she's got because at the minute, instead of receiving calls, she starts taking accidental photographs whenever someone rings her. Well, I was just stood looking at the display to work out my options when I was more or less kicked out of the way by three teenage girls. One of them said "Yeah, this is what Darryl's buying me for Christmas. It's a lovely phone the LG GS666X-WANK ain't it?" A beautiful phone? Now, I like things that are aesthetically pleasing, but I'd never go as far as to call a mobile phone 'lovely'. It's a tool for communicating with, nothing more, nothing less. My boss often tells me that people at work who have the latest phone probably have absolutely nothing else in their lives apart from a fancy phone. For once I think he might be right.
You see, when I was a kid the things I drooled over were things to play music on. The more graphic equalisers the better. And if not stereos, it was poring over the browser in the local record shops looking at what records you couldn't afford out of your paper round wages.
Who knows, in twenty odd years time those teenagers might be blogging about why the kids of today are obsessed with teleportation devices, in their day it was mobile phones.
Stop press: Another thing I don't get, is the obsession with Diane Keen's tits. I get more visitors to this site looking for Diane Keen's tits that anything else. I wouldn't mind, but they're nothing to write home about.

4 comments:

Clair said...

I haven't seen the movie of Mamma Mia, but I have seen the show twice(sorry). I think women of a certain age love it because of the songs, and because it's fun to see a bunch of Fiftysomething women on screen being the centre of attention and having a good time - normally these women are demoted to playing embittered old Vera Drake-ish hags, or the slightly shabby young grandma. Also, a lot of friends have enjoyed the film with their pre-teen daughters, and it's been a lot of fun for them both. But it does worry me that good British movies suffer due to lack of decent distribution.

And re phones. Why do kids venerate them so much when all they do is talk wank and play wank on them?

Anonymous said...

Your plums aren't all that either!

Mondo said...

I had the double the usual hit rate last Friday because of a Brenda Lee track - of all the tunes and tracks I've ever posted bloody Brenda Lee blew the roof off (hits-wise, that is)

Bright Ambassador said...

Clair - I see your point, but why go again and again and again again...
I think staff in phone shops are trained to filter out who intends to buy and who doesn't. The salesman headed straight for me and totally ignored all the teenagers. 'Play wank', good name for a band there. Of course, if some kid was playing Yes's Starship Tropper through a mobile phone speaker I wouldn't mind half as much.

Diane - That's not what you said the other night, indeed your eyes were positively watering.

PM - Mmm, sweet nuthins.