Ripping off each others clothes in a most peculiar way

Hello, people who read this shite. How are you? Oh dear, really? Oh well, never mind, it's nearly Christmas. Yeah, yeah, I'm not too bad, wish I could shake off this cold, but as The Boy Lard used to say  in his best Joe Gladwin voice "Musn't grumble!", but thanks for asking. As it's nearly Christmas I'll give you my highlights and lowlights package of 2010. Have a good Christmas and I hope that rash goes in 2011.

Lowlights - Groo!

• The ceaseless march of Simon Cowell
• The general election
• Nick Clegg
• The dick at the local VW dealership who sold me a car. Love the car, hate car salesmen
• iPhone users. Stop being so smug. I consciously didn't choose the iPhone. I did that just so iPhone users could go "Of course, you should have got an iPhone"
• iPad users. As it said in Viz Top Tips "Giants: an iPad makes a handily-sized iPhone."
• Lady Gaga. Bored now
• Survivors series 2. Terrible, gave up after episode 3
• ITV dropping Dexter
• The top 10 constantly featuring songs I don't know, usually by Tiny Temper ft. Mary Hinge or Jay Z ft. Mike Hunt
• Nottingham Forest getting done over by Blackpool in the playoffs. I left the home leg with their lot shouting "Can we play you every week!?" ringing in my ears. Ooh, I was mardy
• Radio 2 thinking it's okey-dokey to drop their best show down to three nights a week just so Jo Whiley can introduce five year old concert recordings of Roxy Music because they have to bow down to what the BBC governers' survey suggested
• Mock the Week. Why is this still on?
• Take Me Out. A televised cattle market presented by the world's unfunniest berk
• Seeing Nick Griffin
• Prolonged cold weather and snow

Highlights - Hooray!

• Wilko Johnson at the Rescue Rooms
• On a related note, Oil City Confidential
• Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage. A joy of a documentary DVD, this is why people love Rush
• North Atlantic Oscillation's Grappling Hooks LP
• The Divine Comedy's Bang Goes the Knighthood LP
• Standing on top of one of Britain's highest mountains and marvelling at the view
• 'Meeting' Billy Connolly
• Micky Flanagan at Edinburgh. What a pity he picks such shit TV work
• Stewart Lee's If You Prefer a Milder Comedian... DVD
• Finally seeing The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain
• Finally getting round to learning to play the drums and stuff that goes with it like making new friends

Have a good Christmas. Here's some of my singles of the year that should have been massive but weren't: