I've been into town just now, and it's awash with, what I believe are called 'charity muggers'. Now, I'm a fairly generous person, I think. I donate to charity regularly (though like Smashie and Nicie, I don't like to talk about it), what I hate though is being bullied into it.
These charity muggers today were from the British Red Cross, a worthwhile organisation, I'm sure you'll agree. Today though I really didn't want to set up a standing order for £5 a month to go to them. I don't really like entering into contracts, apart from my employment contract, which is the reason why I refuse to have Sky telly, contract mobile phones etc. The thing is, they must have worked out that they could afford to blitz a town centre with these muggers today as the money they pay the muggers they must be able to recoup and then some. I mean, I take it they're getting paid for doing this as they all look like students. I think I must be an easy target - they see me approaching, floral print shirt, nice jeans, Converse All Stars. "Ah" they must think to themselves "This stocky, balding James Mayalike is just the sort of middle class bloke whose conscious will get the better of him - this is as good as in the bag." Think again, Student Grant, I encountered three, and these are the conversations I had:
Lady Charity Mugger: "Good morning, sir!
Me: "Morning!"
LCM: "Can you spare a couple of minutes for a chat?"
Me: "No"
She made a mistake, if she'd said "Morning, sexy!" then yeah, I may have stopped and indulged in some mild flirting before walking off without opening a standing order and she would have though to herself "Saddo thought he was in with a chance" well, that's her loss.
Next one looked like Hair Bear off of The Hair Bear Bunch:
Hair Bear Charity Mugger bellowing from a hundred yards away: "Morning sir!"
*I look over my shoulder in a mock 'are-you-talking-to-me-manner'*
HBCM: "Yes, you sir, the chap who looks very nice! Have you go time to chat, sir?! I'm not asking for money!"
Me: "No"
Next one approaches after I've stepped out of the music shop to drool over the drum kit I want and had a chat with the proprietor, with a copy of Kerrang!* and a practice pad under my arm.
Charity Mugger: "Morning, sir, have you got time for a chat?"
Me: "What, are you going to buy me a pint to go with it?"
CM: "Ho ho, no sir!"
Me: "Then I haven't got time 'for a chat.'"
Ha! That told him.
So what did I do then? I stepped into the Oxfam books and record shop where charity mugging of another kind was going on. What they hell are they doing with the prices? They had a vinyl copy of Dark Side of the Moon. "Oooh" I thought to myself "I wonder if that's still got the stickers and postcards which came with 1970s pressings?" I was disappointed, there was a card attached to the front which read "Late '70s pressing. No stickers or postcards. Plays okay, just slight jump during Brain Damage." Do you know how much they wanted for it? £9.99! That's nearly ten of your English pounds! What a rip off! Hardly a rare album is it, not when they've sold thirty million of them. If it had stickers and postcards? Yes, then they could have had my £9.99 and that would have made it four times that I'd bought the bloody record.
To compound this, in with the records was a Q magazine guitarists' photo supplement. I used to have that and binned it, now they want a tenner for something that was given away for free!
Compare that with the Oxfam in Nottingham a few months back which had every Q mag from issue 1-50 for sale for £90. I bloody wish I'd bought it now. No, scratch that, I wish I'd not thrown out my Qs which I collected religiously from 1988 to 1997.
I'm not being tight-fisted here, but Oxfam would get a lot more of my business if they looked into their pricing policy, so, in the long run, they've lost out. I mean, a vinyl copy of Blondie's Parallel Lines for £7.99 when you can buy it on CD from Sainsbury's for less than a fiver,? Do me a favour...*wonders off, muttering*...
Anyway, have a good weekend. If, like me you're going out for a picnic, with family, then note these wise words. Oh, and apologies for the 'screamers', went a bid mad with them, didn't I?:
*Yeah, I buy Kerrang every now and again. What are you going to do about it? Besides, this week's has got my four thrash metal heroes on the cover - together at last!
10 comments:
Camden High Street is awash with Chuggers. I hate them. Only yesterday one of them stuck out their hand to me like they wanted me to shake it. She got short shrift.
Another trilled: 'Today we're stopping everyone wearing black!'
'Except me,' I replied.
I just blank them. They're everywhere.
On another note, I too have noticed how charity shops have hiked up their prices. No bargains to be hand now. It's the Antiques bloody Roadshow in War On Want now.
If it's Q magazines you want, I'm your man. I've got the first 10 years worth in the loft if you're interested. And I'm moving house soon. Know what I'm saying?
John - Yep, I know what you're saying and I'm interested. Can you drop us some contact details to brightambassador@hotmail.co.uk please?
FC - I wouldn't mind the prices if they were on a par with other second hand outlets, eBay etc but you do get the feeling that because it's for charity then they should charge you a little more.
There's one lot of these nuisances that I see, War on Want or similar and they shout out;
"Good Morning - do YOU want to save a child's life today?"
Then they react with horrified indignation if someone falls into the trap and says 'No' or 'Not really'.
This crew are going to get a slap one day, I can see it.
Still I suppose they'd like to get in the papers, at least the attention seeking ones who are busy saving the world whilst the rest of us get on with our own selfish pursuits.
Oh dear vicar, I appear to have RANTED.
It must be a seasonal thing - Brighton was rammed with them yesterday too. I nearly went for one of them for smarming "Hello, Angel" right into my face. I was amazed at the number of people who were still prepared to stop for them, though. I always put money in the Sally Army collection tin, and the same for a few of the small local charities who can't afford PR agencies, but the phoney manipulative bonhomie of your average chugger makes me heave.
(I do give ten per cent of my income to charities by standing order anyway, but the one time I said that out loud to a chugger in order to try and deter them, I felt like a self-righteous ponce. So now I just growl at them).
Chuggers target pubs full of football fans prior to matches. We get them in the Three Crowns in Hull before every home game. the more pissed up fan chucks in a few pence, most of my lot tell them to fuck off, very loudly.
Did you get my email BA?
Next time I get chugged I intend to try the reverse sales trick as recommended by Richard Herring and try to get them to sign up for something first.
As for charity shop prices, there are still some bargains to be had but I agree they are reducing. The Oxfam shop in Felixstowe is now closed to the public and used as a base for their ebay sales team.
I thought Mike Smash didn't like to talk about the work he did for charity, whereas Dave Nice didn't like to talk about talking about the work he did for charity?
Or something ...
I'm confused.
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