Thursday 20 May 2010

'Clarnon around


I've become a 'fan' of Liz McClarnon on Facebook (that's her in the picture, in the shithouse at The Alan Titchmarsh Show that I nicked off her Facebook page). Do you know who she is? She was one third of the average girl band Atomic Kitten. I fell in love with her a little bit when she did Celebrity Master Chef a couple of years back, and I recently became transfixed by her latest effort for BBC 3 called Hotter Than My Daughter (which, when I first saw listed, thought was a handy guide to the menopause).
I tell you what, it's no surprise everyone wants to be a 'celebrity' these days. To say she was an average singer in an average band I reckon she's not lifted a finger to do any proper work. Ever.
Looking at her Facebook updates her days appear to be filled with appearances on Loose Women, The Alan Titchmarsh Show, The Wright Stuff, Angela Griffin and Friends, This Morning, Live From Studio fucking Five and any other number of inane daytime TV shows you could name.
To be fair she is going on tour with Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of HG Wells's War of the Worlds later in the year. But she gets to go out on tour with 'the lovely Jason Donovan and Rhydian'. Even that's not really work though. I've seen the touring version of Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of HG Wells's War of the Worlds and her part just requires her to sing "No, Nathaniel....no, Nathaniel....no, Nathaniel...." once every few bars. And she's just returned from a cruise which was, no doubt, paid for by Wish You Were Here or someone.
She's got her work cut out tonight though. According to her Facebook status she's in a quandary about what to wear to something called The Butterfly Ball. Apparently showbiz royalty like Elton John and, er, Joan Collins will be there. While she's there I'll be at work throwing shit into a skip. But whose happier, eh? Yeah, her. Groo!
The thing is, she appears on these daytime programmes to obviously give her opinion on all the latest 'news' and 'gossip'. Perhaps she ought to think about becoming one of those self-important tossers who start a blog. Oh, hang on...

8 comments:

Jon Peake said...

I always remember her on Masterchef:

"Egg? On a pizza? 'ow mad is that!"

Quite endearing.

Bright Ambassador said...

Precisely. And "Aah, no, I've broke me glass!" sounding like Stan Boardman.

Louis Barfe said...

The Butterfly Ball? Celebrities are actually having a party to commemorate Roger Glover's mid-1970s solo concept album? Bless them for caring. I thought I was the only person in the world with a copy of that. I look forward to the Annual Godley & Creme Consequences Dinner, Dance and Raffle.

Bright Ambassador said...

Is that Roger Glover who was in Deep Purple?

John Medd said...

FC - The California Pizza Factory on Victoria St, Nottingham, used to do 'an all day breakfast' on a pizza. Mmmmm.

Louis Barfe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Louis Barfe said...

The very same: http://bit.ly/cywOXK

Matthew Rudd said...

She can make you whole again.